summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
