Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
