I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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