Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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