whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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