I'm lost and stupid without you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
