Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class

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(229): View more from Georgia

my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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(847): View more from Illinois

i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up

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