So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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