please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
