I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
