i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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