I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
