hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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