sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize