i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
