i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
