new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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