cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
