I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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