I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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