He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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