I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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