The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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