Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
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Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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