Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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