So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
