so explain again why im purple
no
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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