I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
