Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
