tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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