Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize