I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize