its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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