I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
