So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The power of my boobs compel you
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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