I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
