I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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