So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
