Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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