There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
