just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
