chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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