careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
