We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
