He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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