So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
