why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
