That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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