Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
