All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
