I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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