Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
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In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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