I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
