I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
People with herpes should wear stickers.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
