Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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