Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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