my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize