My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
