She announced her abortion via fbk
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
