i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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