thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We talked him into tasing himself.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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