Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
