Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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