i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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