I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
